Forgiveness is HARD sometimes.
Forgiving others is one thing, but forgiving yourself is another. Our responses to actions and situations are human and mostly very normal, even if irrational at times. We often believe that ‘they’ don’t deserve our forgiveness, or that we really couldn’t care less what that person was suffering at the time of their own actions. But what we never consider is ourselves in the same situation.
Bad things may happen to us in our lives, and we are well within our rights to hold onto the pain and suffering, manifested in our fierce hatred toward another, that person who inflicted that upon us. But it is in forgiving ourselves for ever believing we were deserving of that behaviour, that we find our real power.
It has been many years since my own trauma for example, but I do not give them power over me any more by holding onto that pain. I would never be expected to forgive them for what happened, but I can forgive myself for ever believing it was my fault.
Things that happen to us, do not define us. How someone else sees us is not a measure of our value and worth in this world, but a measure of their own, as they see themselves. It is not a truth, only an opinion, often projected onto us through their own filters, created layer by layer of their own fears and judgements.
Forgive yourself for believing that a persons actions, behaviours or feelings towards you were ever your fault, nor were you deserving of them.
Take back that power and do not so freely give it to others.