I had lunch with a friend today and we got to discussing how friendships change over time and many inevitably end. We have both drifted away from various once-mutual friends over the time we’ve known each other – but we’re still friends, she’s lovely.
People come into and go out of our lives regularly. If you’re fortunate you’ll find genuine, long lasting friendships that truly stay the course but for the most part, we will have flings with like minded people at various different stages of our journey.
If you’ve recently fallen out with someone you held dear to your heart, remember that this is a process. I was left upset by something similar very recently and it honestly felt like a breakup (think re-reading texts, typing out texts and deleting them, looking them up social media – you name it, I did it) we’d been really close and although this had become a toxic relationship in every sense of the term, I still had a hard time coming to terms with the end.
But I took the time; I ate ice cream and thought about it way too much but eventually I taught myself to accept that apology I never got and to forgive. It’s important to realise that sometimes people have so much going on in their own lives, they simply change into someone we’re no longer compatible with, but it may be exactly who they need to be in their own journey.
The other side of this, either the toxic relationship or the hurt from the fall out, is the torment you put yourself through (the questioning, doubt, worry) is not good for you, it’s even classes as self harm in some circles, and do you really have the energy to spend feeling like this? If you do – should it not be spent elsewhere? On positive things that will make you happy?
Whatever that person brings or briefly brought into your life; the laughter, the adventure and even the sorrow – at that particular time, that’s what you needed. We have to trust that the journey is giving us everything we need.
Look out for yourself, be happy, you’ll be better equipped then to help someone else in their travels. And after all, happiness never goes out of style.